Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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