using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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