bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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