It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
