I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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