so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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