I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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