I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
