Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
