The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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