You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Mom said you looked used
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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