the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
