he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
