What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
