i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
