Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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