i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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