If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I forget how to act sober
Randomize