Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
