Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
