Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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