i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
