We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
