she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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