I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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