I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
