I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
