So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
