You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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