Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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