So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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