White coat. Heels.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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