apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
