I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize