Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
