i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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