I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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