Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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