He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
