people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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