had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
