no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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