My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
