I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize