if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
