It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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