just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
