I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
