It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
