you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
