...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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