Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Boobs are out for the taking
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
