If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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