escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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