I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
