I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
