D3 body, D1 cock
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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