you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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